The Cost of Being Mom

You are a mom, my mom.  So much of who I am and what I've been able to do and this riched, blessed life I have is because of you.  And I know it has cost you.  Quite dearly.  I have known, but I know and I see in a new way in this phase of life as I feel the joy and the cost of mothering my own now.

You gave us good food.  The smell filled our home--baked coffee cakes or cinnamon rolls, roast and potatoes on Sundays, homemade goodies for us and for many a friend we would bring through our home who never experienced the loving efforts of such treats.  Meals required extra planning and effort.  Meals were made special for our favorites and in seasons to fit my crazy ideas of what would make me run faster at the track meet or fit my social conscious.  You honored our desires but stood firm in providing for our health and our needs--I was never allowed to walk out the door in the morning without breakfast or to sink into self-destructive patterns to match up with popular ideals of appearance.

You made our house a home.  You cared more about us enjoying our home together than impressing those around you with their ideas of housekeeping.  We had "shut the world out" days to regroup and be quiet and be refreshed.  We sat snuggled and cozy on the couch, even when the pleather cracked and stuck to our legs, reading countless stories.  Anyone was welcome in our home, and you embraced those who entered and shared a sense of home with them.  You sacrificed any plans for matching decor to proudly display our masterpieces and creations. 

You were present.  I know you have struggled to receive grace and have had your heart broken many times over responding to impossible circumstances to be all the places and meet all the needs you felt you should meet.  Things were hard, and we muddied through at times, but we were always in it together.  I was supported and encouraged in my endless pursuits of activities and interests.  

You gave of your time and talents and knowledge to teach and train me.  Multitudes of patience extended as seams had to be ripped out and tried again to finish sewing projects.  Clothes were made to fit my needs and desires.  I have never been intimidated in the kitchen because I grew up watching you pull together meals time after time as if there was just an internal, limitless cookbook to pull together a meal out of nearly anything.  I got to high school realizing that not everyone had been taught already how to research and write a paper. 

You sacrificed so much for us.  Endless nights of sleep, rarely having new or nice things you desired, running countless times to pick me up or drop me off or bring me stuff that I forgot...I can't even count all of the ways that you so often set aside yourself to give to us, to me.

You have walked with and led me closer to Jesus.  More importantly than all other things, I have know that I have been prayed for tirelessly my whole life and know that to still be true and now knowing that expanded to include my boys.  I have seen you never stop growing and learning and pressing in to know God more deeply, more fully, and be more like Him every day.  You taught me about Him, but you also led me to KNOW Him and love Him and to embrace His heart for others.  No matter what circumstances or surrounding culture we lived in, you have given me eyes and vision to see a big God and His heart for a big world!  You are a beautiful woman who reflects His love and His glory.

I love you so much, Mom, and words could never express all that you have given and all that you are to me!
I am so thankful for the heritage of women that I come from--your mom, your grandma, you.  I am so richly blessed and humbled to have been given so much and hope, by God's grace, to extend that to my children.