Friday, May 23, 2008

What I Deserve

A couple weeks ago, a friend was commenting on being excited for us with the pregnancy and what a blessing it is to be having the baby. He said, "You deserve it."
While this friend was being genuinely being sweet and affirming and meant to just be encouraging, I was thinking more about it on my walk a few days later, and it has been coming back to me since...
The thing is that I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of the amazing blessings God has poured out on my life. Really. I've been a pretty good person, in a lot of people's minds, but I'm nowhere near to being as loving as I was created to be. I can be stubborn and prideful, and mainly, no matter how hard I work at being perfect, there is just nothing that is within my human ability to earn from God. He is holy. He is perfect. He is love. I am not. In fact, the simple fact that I so often try to live out of my own resources rather than live in full dependance on Him is enough to prove that I fall short of His purposes and plans and am owed nothing.
Grace challenges me. Receiving love and love that I have in no way earned is somehow harder. But nowhere does God tell me to do stuff to earn His love. He asks for my love in return for His. He asks me to follow Him, rely on Him, and all service I give Him is empty is it doesn't flow out of a heart of love and grace.
I don't know why God has so richly blessed me. There are certainly others who seem so deserving of more blessings and less hardships. And I know that until Jesus returns, there will be the effects of the Enemy in this world, though we hope in the One who has ultimately already overcome!
Anyway, since I deserve absolutely nothing, His grace and His blessing in my life truly overwhelm me! John and I are so thankful for Baby Snowden coming, and I hope we never forget that this is God's gracious and undeserved gift in our lives!

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