Saving Bath Time

Isaiah has been hating the bath lately. I mean, total melt-down, everyone's miserable, really hating it! It's weird because he used to love the bath, so I'm not sure what happened, but I was determined to do something! (Side note: We had already tried a lot of stuff hoping to return bath time to the happy days gone by!)

I had seen directions for making your own bath crayons in Super Baby Food that I had wanted to try. I thought maybe Isaiah would enjoy helping to make them, plus they wouldn't have all that junk I can't even pronounce like the ones you buy in the store. So, we gave it a try. Isaiah was super excited about the idea and couldn't wait to do it once I told him.
Basically, you use soap flakes or grate mild bar soap. I didn't know where to find soap flakes, so we grated bars of Ivory soap. The directions say to add one tablespoon of hot water slowly to 1/4 cup of soap flakes. It was hard to stir, so I stirred while Isaiah put in the water and food coloring. Asking a toddler to pour something in slowly is a little worthless, but he was enjoying our project. We put it into sections of an ice cube tray and let it dry. At some point a couple days later we popped it out to let the bottom dry better as well.
Isaiah told everyone who came over about our bath crayons and showed them off. As you can see from the picture, they weren't pretty! Unfortunately, their function was about as poor as they look. They were fun to try but not very effective at writing/drawing in the bath. Maybe more food coloring next time? They get slimy pretty quickly, too.

So, the bath crayons were not terribly successful, and I still have a ziploc bag of grated soap, but the experience was fun, and Isaiah actually got excited about bath time to use them. It didn't entirely save bath time, though, and the funny random thing that seems to have come to the rescue, at least for now, is a song I pulled out on a whim from Sesame Street. In the Puddle Jumping episode open, Baby Bear sings a song about singing in the shower. I have been married long enough to a man who makes up songs or changes the words constantly, so I made a little spontaneous adaptation for the bath, and he thought it was the greatest thing on the planet. So far, all we have to do if the fussing starts is start to sing the song, and we're golden!

Also, Isaiah has grown resistant to veggies at times, but he asked for thirds the other night because of the Veggies Revolt episode and kept going, "Crunch. Healthy." I have to admit that I am less than thrilled about Isaiah watching much TV, but I have to admit Sesame Street has come through for us lately! Thanks, PBS!

Lessons on Grace

Both boys are actually napping, so I probably should be as well, but here I am jotting down my thoughts instead. I received a message the other day from a former student, and as I started thinking about it, I realized that she is now the same age I was when I was teaching her! It really struck me that I have now been in Los Angeles for 11 years! Today I find myself thinking about how very different my life is now than when I moved here.

I drove out to Los Angeles in the summer of 2000. I knew no one out here. I moved into an apartment by myself in South Central and started my job teaching middle school math there. John has described his first impressions when he saw me come in to his small group with my nose ring and toting my djembe on my back and my hippie clothes.

Today I am in one of three pairs of black work-out type pants that are the extent of pants that fit me right now, staying home full-time with my two boys, making dinner.

I moved here to determined to save the world and today feel pleased at having made dinner.

Life is challenging in new ways now, and it has stretched me a lot! It is not, in many ways, as comfortable for me as my early days in LA. I would have been pretty terrified, in fact, if you had told me at that time that this is what my life would be like right now. But, besides the most obvious reasons that I am so thankful for my life now--a wonderful husband and two beautiful, amazing boys--I feel like I am starting to understand grace.

Speaking of life being different, it is now two days later that I'm actually able to finish this post!

I used to get a lot of awe from people when I told them what I did and where I lived, and I have to admit that I liked that. I have been a really driven person for as long as I can remember, and I needed to be doing something that felt important and hardcore. Don't get me wrong; I loved what I did. But, I needed it. I have felt good at a lot of things in this life, but "good" never seemed enough. I was always striving to be PERFECT--the perfect student, the perfect teacher, the perfect Christian, the perfect person. I have struggled to come to terms with the reality that, not only does that not exist, it treats Christ's sacrifice on the cross as if it means nothing!

As I made dinner Monday, that old voice came into my head to think how pathetic it was that I was feeling successful for having made dinner one day. What a different measuring stick than what I used to have! But, then I felt such a peace. I didn't need to accomplish something, even this little thing, to have more value or to be a good mom or wife or prove anything to myself or someone else. I just had the chance to extend something of myself to try to bless my husband and my family with a show of affection for them. I could embrace the joy of something so seemingly insignificant because MY significance wasn't wrapped up in it or in feeling the weight to do more.

My life isn't glamorous these days, but I have a loving husband who honors me and our family and extends grace to me in so many ways, a toddler who is curious and fun and smart and compassionate, and a baby boy who is healthy and beautiful. It is a valuable way to spend my life, and I am thankful. And, most of all, I am thankful for God's grace that I can finally realize (and at least some days remember and embrace!) that whether I do seemingly big or small things or even feel that I have nothing at all to give and am utterly failing at life, I am a beloved daughter of the King.

Things have changed. And grace has changed me!

I struggle with it daily, but I'm thankful for the glimpses of His grace and moments to experience it!

Big Name for a Little Guy

We had trouble choosing a name for our second little boy. We really didn't want to sound like crazy Christian compound folks with a grip of Old Testament prophets for names or to feel like we had to stick specifically with a Biblical name, but we also had chosen a name for our first son (Isaiah Jackson) that had so much meaning to us, that we couldn't handle the thought of a name that just sort of sounded ok and was just an average name to us. Plus, Isaiah has a ton of little friends right around his age that have used a lot of names that we really like! So, at the risk of sounding like the wacky Christians (we already without knowing we were considering this name got two family members joking about this as a potential name), we are diving in with this little guy...Ezekiel Shalom Snowden.

John had, for a long time, liked the name Ezekiel. I took a bit longer to come around to it. :) We kept considering a bunch of other names, and there are quite a few that seemed fine to us, but nothing just seemed to connect or feel that special to us.

Ezekiel means "God will strengthen" or "Strength of God." I think that has been a particularly meaningful message to me during this pregnancy. We have been through a lot of transition in this season and many big things, and even though most of them were good, it has definitely been a season of stretching me way beyond the limits of my own human strength. I've written before the challenges for me in some of that, and there is a lifelong lesson for me in learning to really rely on God as my strength and trust His strength to be sufficient, but it has been a particularly fresh lesson in this season that has gotten taken to much greater depths. As I've wrestled with some fears and anxieties through this pregnancy, I particularly felt a few weeks ago, during a group time I am a part of with other moms at the Vineyard, the Lord encourage me with and impress on me this message again--that HE will strengthen! May our son be a testimony of God's strength and the beauty of a life lived in dependence on Him!

Shalom means "peace." But, the thing about this word that is so amazing to me is that it is so much bigger and deeper than the way we often think of peace. It isn't just the absence of conflict; it is that state of all things being completely the way God originally intended them to be. Fully restored and redeemed and in the state of perfect peace as God created them. Fullness of life. I can't imagine anything more beautiful than to think of our son being an agent of God's restoration and redemption in this world, pointing to God's glory and fullness of life and peace. Shalom. The prophet Ezekiel in the Old Testament was an agent of redemption of culture and restoration of God's people, though being obedient to being God in that brought tremendous challenges. Ezekiel was God's voice to bring His people back to His plans and purposes when nothing around him made that an easy or popular message or action. May both of our sons stand with courage against culture, injustices, and the wrongs around them to restore and redeem God's plans and purposes around them for this world and His people!

And so, we now proudly introduce our little Ezekiel Shalom!

Re-Entry Blues

I can hardly believe that we've been back from Nepal now for 2 months! I realized that I should probably change the name of my blog, now that I am not actually a "Mountain" Mama anymore for this season. :(
I don't have any clever ideas to replace it, though, so for now, it will just have to stay.

The fact that it has been far longer since my last post than between postings while navigating life in a third-world country is an indicator of the adjustment it has been. Honestly, it was a rough landing coming back! I knew, on some level, it would be jarring and that there would be hard things about coming back, but I wasn't prepared for the extent of what I felt and experienced coming back. It seemed so difficult to feel "normal" again, despite being in the place that has been home now for us for many years.

One challenge was the obvious jetlag. Jetlag is no fun. Jetlag with a toddler who is also jetlagging is really not fun! Then Isaiah caught a cold, which added to the poor sleep at night. A series of circumstances proceeded that just felt like they kept putting off any sense of "normalcy" or routine returning.

In hindsight, it was not a great choice to return right before Christmas. For one, I absolutely love Christmas and get all kinds of ideals in my head for it being a special celebration, and I just didn't have the energy to pull off much of anything, especially with none of us feeling that well. Also, LA is a particularly weird place at Christmas. We had some very good friends who stayed here for the holiday, but the Westside is a place that largely empties out for Christmas. So, going to services at our church felt strange and empty, and it felt like we were home quite awhile before we actually got to spend time with a lot of people we would normally see often here. I think I expected at least a lot of logistics to be easier getting back. I was thinking of the convenience of just getting in the car and driving to the store and buying whatever I needed. But, even those aspects of life felt surprisingly draining upon return. It was raining a lot when we got back, and considering that it only does that for a short stretch every year, the driving and traffic get bad. Parking lots and stores were chaotic and packed, and a lot of people just seemed "on edge."

Perhaps one of the most frustrating dynamics of returning at that time of year was the hyper-intensified commercialism. LA is always a place where the marketing and materialism is at an abnormally high level, but Christmas time gets worse. And, having just returned from a third-world country, it felt like a really extreme contrast and bit of a shock. Having come from a place where the majority of the population has little to no disposable income and most things are that of necessity, it just felt jarring to be surrounded by so much stuff that no one ever needs and people frantically running around to get it. I made the huge mistake of going to Toys'R'Us on Dec. 22 because I had a store credit I thought we could use to get a little present for Isaiah. Almost completely pushed me over the edge! There are so many challenges of raising kids in Nepal, but I just felt so aware of the snares of life here and not wanting my son to grow up thinking all this materialism is the norm. Bleh.

Just as I thought maybe I was starting to hit a stride and get back into some sense of routine and settling in here, I hit that last stretch of pregnancy that just knocked the wind out of me. I've felt so exhausted, and it has been frustrating to feel like I lost a month of time that seemed almost like an out of body experience when I was wanting to get settled and prepared for the next little one to come and soak up some time with just Isaiah.

We have been able to get a lot of things prepared around the apartment, and in many ways, we are in a "normal" pattern of life, but I have to say that I still feel sort of unsettled and struggling to sort through my thoughts and feelings and vision and plans for life. For sure, hormones of late pregnancy don't help! I just want to connect to a sense of a purpose and a firm place for us to stand here or wherever we are. I can't help but feel like there is a lot of life that I can't quite make sense out of right now, and it hard to see quite where we fit here. I feel a bit overwhelmed heading into a new season of expanding family (and sleep deprivation!) with so little energy and so much feeling beyond my control. I suppose that is actually a much needed place for me to be, though, as the reality is that I can't control life or make it all fit into place. Have been reminded AGAIN (seems like I need constant reminders of this!) that I need to ABIDE in Christ! I need to rely on Him for strength and to be my source. As I battle anxieties or fears or frustrations, I so deeply need to remember that what I need is HIM!

Parenting Reflections, Volume 1

So, the whole time I've been here, I've been talking about blogging about the many thoughts and issues that have come up with parenting in this place and season for me. I figured with less than a week less, perhaps I should actually start on that. There are a ton of different aspects of it that would make it an overwhelmingly long post to write or read, so I'll try to jump in on one thing for now: Control.
For any who know me well, I am a control freak in a long recovery and learning process! From the time I was a kid, I have been a pretty Type A, structured, black and white person who likes my lists and schedules and plans and structures. And, well, let's be honest, control. Even when I took the test from the Now, Discover Your Strengths book, one of my top 3 came back as Control (can't remember how that was framed as a strength exactly, but hopefully, I'll continue to let God redeem it as one). I make light of it sometimes, but it truly has been a challenge for me as an adult to release this.
There have been many seasons and layers of lessons in this arena. Becoming a parent has, without a doubt, been one of the biggest challenges to my "need" for control, as there is so much that is just not able to be controlled and that I have HAD to come face to face with needing to be in someone's control (God) who is far superior to me! So, parenting in general has been a huge challenge in this arena, but coming here to Nepal has taken it to a whole new level!

The first month here Isaiah had some sort of health issue pretty much the whole time. I was wrapping up my first trimester of pregnancy, so I was exhausted regardless of the circumstances. The travel didn't go especially easily getting here with Isaiah's sleep (or lack of), jet lag was rough and moved into a lot of pretty limited sleep nights because of all his health stuff. So, I was feeling completely depleted. And, here was my beloved little boy struggling with one physical malady after another. Now, I know kids get sick anywhere, but the possibilities of what it could be here are pretty scary, AND it was a brand new place where I didn't know how to take care of anything for him. There aren't any 24-hr pharmacies. It's hard to navigate communication and randomness at the pharmacies to even get what you want, and often it's not available here. I didn't even know how to clean stuff here when he was vomiting all over it in the middle of the night! There was no ability to even operate under any slight illusion that I had any control in it all! It was a horrible feeling that I really and truly wrestled through. I felt like I couldn't even figure out how to do the one thing I had set as my role during that time of coming--to take care of my son!

The thing about releasing control is that there is an assumption of it being released TO someone. It isn't like I had a choice to release control in this situation; it wasn't within my grasp. But, what felt perhaps the most difficult of all is that I couldn't see any control in it anywhere. I kept trying to tell myself that God was in control and praying for Him to take care of my little boy. I was trying really hard to trust that, but in the middle of the night one of the nights when Isaiah couldn't stop throwing up, and I was just completely at the end of myself, I have to be honest that I got angry. Really, really honest moment...I thought, God, I know that I need to trust that You are in control and that it never really has been within my control to take care of my son. I know I need to trust that He is and always has been in Your hands. Well, right now, you're doing a pretty crappy job! How am I supposed to feel good about that?! I'm completely at the end of myself, and I am mad that I don't see You here!

I had a pretty dramatic crying jag, followed by being so exhausted that I fell asleep for a bit. In the morning I was reminded of the story of Hagar and Ishmael. When I was younger, my Grandpa and Grandma had this old Bible-story book, and whenever I spent the night there, I got to choose a Bible story to read at breakfast. I always picked that story. I think I really loved the picture in that book for that story, and I can vividly remember it still. It's not a typical kid story to love, I suppose. I think there are a lot of reasons why God may have put that story on my heart as a kid, but one could be for my time as a mom. I turned to it in Genesis and read. Their circumstances were much different obviously. Ishmael was born as a result of Abraham and Sarah's disobedience, and then Hagar was sent away because of Sarah's jealousy. My son is a blessing and a joy, which actually made it seem all the more true that, if God would take care of Ishmael and Hagar, how much more certain that He would be there for my little boy?
In the story, their food and water runs out, they are completely alone, and they are in the desert. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but that is how I felt. I felt alone and completely stripped of any resources and powerless to do anything but watch my little boy hurting. Hagar went off to weep because she couldn't bear to watch her son die. Then, in Genesis 21:17, it says, "God heard the boy crying..." Even that simple phrase struck me. I didn't see action in the timing I wanted, and it made me feel like God wasn't even paying attention, but it was a reassurance of Him saying to me that He heard my boy crying, too. "...the angel of the God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, 'What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.' Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink."

Now, I didn't have any wells or instant cures pop up in front of my eyes, but I felt a renewed strength to pick up my little boy and lift Him back up to his source of strength that actually WAS seeing and hearing. It wasn't all smooth from the moment on. Isaiah continued to have some rough stuff for awhile, and he has gotten sick pretty often during our time here. Sometimes I handle it better than others. But, God hears. He sees my little boy and cares for Him, and no matter how hard I want to fight to pretend I'm in control, this place has been a glaring reminder (often in dramatic ways) that I am absolutely NOT. And, I have to trust that God is. Sometimes I see it; sometimes I don't. Sometimes it works out quickly and smoothly, but it has been the most dramatic times when the breakthrough hasn't come right away that I have been stretched and broken and brought to the end of myself in ways that I have not been before. It sucks, let's be honest, but it is necessary. I can't say that I trust God to take care of my son or to be in control in His life if I'm, even subconsciously, still holding on as if his life or wellbeing is within my control. It's subtle at times when things are easy or get resolved quickly, but in those times of greater intensity, I realize how much I have operated as if I am the one running the show.

There is much theology wrapped up in a lot of this that I could go into at great depths, but I will say just briefly that I believe deep in my heart (though it is a tremendous challenge to cling to at times) that God is both completely good and loving and also in ultimate control. I praise Him that Isaiah, though it's been rough, is in no lasting danger, and I have gotten to see God's protection over Him, even if not in my timing. So, it may seem easy at this end of things to once again say that I believe God is in control, but it really did come in the middle of things being rough. It wasn't about me learning a lesson from it. Vineyard theology of the "already and not yet" kingdom of God has been incredibly freeing and amazing and challenging and challenging to me in the past couple of years. If anyone happens to read this and wants to dig into that more, I highly recommend Derek Morphew's book Breakthrough. I had actually read it before Isaiah was born, but as we all know, sometimes things we've learned go out the window when we are experiencing something hard! Anyway, I believe that there is a very real battle in the spiritual realm, and a blog for another day is the ways I have seen that so much more vividly here, but in the midst of the battle, even that seemingly simple affirmation that God hears shook me and released something in me. I don't get to control the way God is in control of things! I have seen all the more the need to battle for my son in prayer, but I have been stripped to a painfully good place from my illusions of control in his life. It's not all gone forever, but I pray that the Lord will keep me in that state of admitting my lack of control and relying on Him in the life of my family! May He make it something beautiful in my life and theirs!

Mixed Emotions

Our time is quickly drawing to a close here in Nepal, and I have found myself experiencing quite a mix of emotions. There are so many thoughts and feelings to sort through, and let's be honest, pregnancy is not the time of utmost clarity to sort through those things!
I'm sure there will much to reflect on and continue to process as we return to the States. Perhaps the single biggest thing is that we don't know whether we will be coming back to Nepal. So, there is still an uncertainty in what is ahead for us. I had felt quite anxious recently about the lack of clarity in that, but I have felt more peace lately and have realized that we don't have to have it all clear and settled yet. What we do know is that we will be returning to Los Angeles in a couple weeks and will be there until at least a couple months after the baby is due, which means we wouldn't be making any big moves before summer anyway. That gives us time that we probably really need to both process our time here and also just see how life back in Los Angeles would fit for us after this season. I just need to learn to live more patiently and graciously in the times of life that aren't so clear (which seems to be a large majority of it!). That is a challenge for me. I like lists and plans and calendars and black and white answers!
We have definitely learned some things about ourselves in this season (which is probably a long post unto itself), and that helps as we move ahead, though there is still much to process about what really God has crafted us uniquely for. I don't believe there is necessarily a concrete definite singular job/location/vocation God has for us, but I long to connect more of the pieces of our hearts and gifts with some vision of how we can uniquely be part of God's kingdom work.

Stepping back again from the big picture, there are a lot of thoughts and feelings to sort through about our time here. Even the length of time itself has been hard to wrap my brain around at times. In some ways, it feels like we just got here and time has flown by and there has hardly been enough time. In other ways, I feel like we have been gone for such a long time and been away for so much of life with those who are very precious to us.

I am feeling so excited to be back home in Los Angeles and to see family and friends and do (and eat!) things we've missed. But, I also have felt surprised recently that I am feeling sad to leave here. Again, the pregnancy hormones don't help this, but one day, I can hardly bear the thought of leaving Los Angeles more long-term, and then the next day, I feel saddened by the thought of letting go of life here and its possibilities. Ups and downs and all kinds of sideways!
Life here has certainly not been easy. I had a hard time at first here. To be honest, I was fairly miserable the first month. And, as my pregnancy progresses, I have to admit that life here is just not comfortable. I am not sure life anywhere is all that comfortable in the last trimester of pregnancy, but there are definitely extra challenges and drains to life here.
Yet, I have tried to jump in and invest in making life a joy here. And it has ended up being a joy. I mean, certainly not all fun and games. But, I have made myself at home here to a certain degree. We are approaching the time of saying goodbyes to people and even places and things that have been such a blessing (or some at least a source of amusement or adventure). The only way to avoid goodbyes being difficult is to avoid investing at all, and that is no way to live, but it certainly is more difficult to invest myself in a place and relationships that may only be for this short season. It was critical, however, in figuring out whether life would fit here (or anywhere) for me.
I have always been a very independent person, and I have known for quite some time that I am significantly an introvert. With those two things, along with probably broken ways we process some of life, I have often not realized the impact of relationships in my life. I have realized over the years, and again to a deeper level here, that I don't enjoy doing life alone. I don't need hoards of friends or tons of social connections; in fact, I get burned out quickly in that. But, I long to share life with a few people closely and intimately. I am so thankful for John, but there is also a deep need I have for female friends to really "do life" with. I had a few friends I have made here over today for a little Christmas fun time with our kids, and as I realized I feel sad to leave them. Certainly, none of these friendships has grown to the depth I would long for, but it has been an encouragement to me that, even in this short season, God has provided glimpses of that for me here. It reminds me that He has always provided for me in this area in the past. Sure, I have gone through times in a new place or a new phase or in saying goodbyes to friends moving on that have been hard and felt the absense of that in my life, but within the broader scope of each season of life, I realize how incredibly blessed I have been with deep friendships and even mentors with whom to share and connect life! Undoubtedly, the most difficult thing for me in leaving Los Angeles, even for a season, was leaving some of the most amazing and precious relationships I have experienced in life. Sharing life in parenting has been a whole new level of connecting our lives, and I am so very grateful for those the Lord has provided for me in this. And, while, even now, my eyes are welling up at the thought of leaving those for a longer time, I have also come to feel the Lord showing me how He has provided something beautiful and amazing that will be a lasting connection and blessing even if not in the same location and that He will provide for me in this wherever I am. It may take a hard season of sowing and seeking that out, and it may end with some tearing again at the end of another life season, but it has been a reminder to me of His incredible provision, as I look back at how He has provided for me in this, long before I even knew or could admit that I needed it.

On perhaps a less deep level, I am both looking forward to and dreading some of the comforts of life. I surely miss the ease of life at times, and yet, sometimes lately, I feel like life will seem quite dull in a place that is easier, and I fear slipping too easily back into being "comfortable" with life. I don't want to just remember to be thankful for what we have; I want to not just go back to having all the stuff and comforts we have. It would be easy to go to an extreme that could never be long-lasting, and I don't want to be foolish about denying what makes life work in a place, but I don't want to just slip back into patterns of what is "easy" without being intentional about what is good!

Well, I can feel myself wearing out for the evening. It was a good day of having friends over, but as I often do, I underestimated the energy involved in getting ready and preparing things the way I hoped to, so I am rather wiped out tonight, especially since Isaiah couldn't calm down for a nap today! There is much more to say/write and process in all of this, but I think I am done for tonight.

Random Thoughts

Seriously, this is a random connection of things tonight...

Isaiah has not been sleeping well at night again. Every time he gets sick (which has been often here) he goes through a stretch of readjusting his nighttime sleep to normal after he's feeling better. It doesn't leave much time of normal sleep until it seems a new bug of some sort hits, and we start over. Plus, it is getting cold at night. There isn't any heat inside, so it makes nights pretty chilly in the apartment. Isaiah is a little wiggle worm still, so it is hard to keep him covered up well. We layer pajamas and try to tuck him in, but his room is the coldest in the apartment because it's on a corner. We're hesitant to buy too much stuff that we don't know will help with only a few weeks left, but last night, we broke down, and John went and bought a big fuzzy (and pretty darn ugly) blanket for him. He insists on pushing his sleeves up, though, and he doesn't want his arms under the covers. He does frequently sleep with penguin (who smells horrible!) covering his face. Don't know how he stands the smell, but perhaps it helps keep him warm?

Isaiah and I went this morning to a big play place they have at a new mall being built in Kathmandu. One of the other moms I know had told us about it. She was talking about telling a taxi how to get there, but of course, being a determined frugal mom, I decided to take the microbus. It lets out right by the mall! Granted, you have to cram in with a LOT of other people, make a bunch of stops on the way, and then cross some chaotic traffic from the stop, but hey, it's only 15 rupees! :)
The play place was great! They had little rides, so Isaiah got to ride a train and a little helicopter ferris wheel thing. I yelled at a couple kids at the ferris wheel. Isaiah was waiting for his turn. That's not really something that is part of the culture here--waiting your turn. And lines...forget it! I know that, and I should probably roll with it a lot better than I do, but there is some sense of what feels fair (not to mention considerate) that just rises up in me every time I am waiting for something and someone shoves in front of me. This time, I was waiting with Isaiah, and a group of kids came barreling through and just about trampled him in the process of pushing past him to the ride. I lost it a bit, unfortunately. Culturally insensitive probably, but is it really just my Western cultural indoctrination that thinks it isn't ok to just roll right over a little kid to get something you want?
Anyway, other than that, the play place was really fun! There was a nice ball pit with slides into it and tons of stuff to climb on and space to run around. There were tons of things that wouldn't meet safety standards anywhere in the U.S., which always makes me laugh. But, it also made me think and wonder about the extremes we've gone to with all of the safety standards and liability issues and all. Now, there are ridiculous death traps all over the place here passed off as kids' play areas, but this one had stuff that kids could definitely get hurt on but really nothing serious, I think. I remember a ton of fun stuff that we used to play on and do in gym class and whatnot as a kid that would never be allowed now in the States. There were injuries, but I think there is a certain extent to which exploring your world and learning what is safe and what isn't and having some bumps and bruises along the way is a reasonable, probably even healthy part of childhood. I wonder if we're padding and cushioning our kids to the point that they become reliant on something external to always protect them from harm and know where the limits and boundaries are and never have to learn for themselves how to just make reasonable choices.

The mall itself made me laugh a bit. They are clearly trying to make a very modern, Western-looking mall. There are escalators and glass elevators (which seem interesting choices for a country that has electricity issues). Even the outside is clearly being laid with tiles and glass to look very hip and "nice." But, in the middle of it is some guy with a broken pile of bricks hacking at a big piece of something with a little handsaw and another guy climbing a rickety ladder to do some cobbled-up wiring. It's kind of a funny scene of bizarre juxtapositions.

We ate lunch in the food court, and Isaiah was excited when I told him he could get a cheeseburger. There were veggie burgers, buff burgers, and "hamburgers" on the menu. I assumed (apparently incorrectly) that hamburgers would be beef. It was a bit disappointing to end up with a giant veggie burger. Now, I like veggie burgers, but don't think nice smooth Boca or something akin to that. Think big hunks of chewy unidentifiable veggies stuck together somehow. It doesn't taste that bad, but the texture is unpleasant and particularly hard for a toddler to chew through, and it was a bit of a letdown when we thought we were getting a "real" burger. I told Isaiah we can go to In'N'Out when we get back, eat cheeseburgers and watch the planes. I told him Grandpa and Grandma would probably enjoy going with us since they'll be visiting us soon after we're back. He said, "Grandpa, Grandma, veggie burgers no like." He's probably right! :)

It was a fun outing, though I'm not sure if it's worth the traffic and effort of getting there. Kathmandu traffic is not pleasant. No traffic is pleasant. But there is something about sitting in a crammed microbus with the nasty emissions and dust that adds a little layer to the experience.

I am teaching Muna how to make some Western dishes before I go. Yesterday we made chocolate peanut butter squares! She is quite shy about things sometimes, so I can't tell if she thinks it's fun or not. I think she likes learning new recipes, though. One more proof of her superhuman status yesterday was when we were melting the chocolate chips. I had them in a metal bowl set on top of a saucepan with water in it on the burning. So, the metal bowl is not directly on the heat source, but it is a METAL bowl that is melting chocolate. I was starting to stir it, and she was going to take over doing it. I handed her the potholder. She shook her head and just grabbed the bowl and held on to it the whole time she was stirring! Seriously! Super human.

This afternoon, as I was cooking for a potluck we were going to, I had some Christmas music playing on the iPod. There are few things that, after 15 years since she passed, still make me miss my grandma the way that Christmas music and decorations and such do. She loved Christmas, and she made it so special for all of us! I grew up Mennonite, and to be a "good" Mennonite, you should be very simple and very frugal and very plain. My grandmother did not grow up Mennonite; she married into it. There were a lot of things that were hard for her about it, but that was one of them. Christmas was the one time of year it seemed acceptable to be festive and a little extravagant. Actually, I don't even know if it was that acceptable or if she just didn't care, and that was her one time she was going to do it anyway! Either way, it always made Christmas feel extra special because it was so distinctly different and because she just seemed to delight in it!
I love Christmas, too. I love decorating and all the special foods and traditions. (John is less fond of some of my traditions, namely the Alabama Christmas album!) It's fun to think of new traditions to start with our kids, too. I made (with much help from my parents on their last visit) a Jesse tree to do this year, and we started it today. I'm going to try to teach Muna how to make some Christmas cookies next week, and we're going to have a little Christmas fun time with some of Isaiah and my friends next week. I haven't used the iPod much since we've been here, but I can't resist playing Christmas music any chance I get. The whole season makes me sappy. That could also be the pregnancy hormones. :)

Well, that is probably enough randomness for tonight. Perhaps a more focused post soon.