Marked by Mercy

Just as we walked around the corner, all of the pigeons in the square took off from the ground with a collective shudder. Muscles tensed. Hands gripped tightly. Eyes welled up with tears.

The photos might look like just a foreign family visiting a cultural heritage site. But behind the photos, there are scars. Deep ones. This was a site of trauma for us nearly 6 years ago, but it is also a marker of unspeakable mercy and deliverance.  Here the earth shook beneath us, and things were shaken loose inside of us. There is before the earthquake, and there is after the earthquake, but it will always be a marker in time.

Some of us have returned since that day. One son had not. The season that followed that day years ago manifested trauma that I didn't know how or if it could heal. I have seen healing since that day, but I still did not know whether he would ever be able to set foot in that place again. Before we leave this country that has been our home for many years, it felt worth trying. John and I wanted to mark that place, not for the terror it held, but for the mercy. We held the plan loosely, not knowing whether it would be a healthy step or just one that seared through the scars, bubbling too much to the surface.

The entry was hard. Seeing the scene that was so painfully familiar triggered reactions beyond conscious thought or control. We waited, and we prayed, and we cried. But slowly we eased in, and our friend started taking the photos. Grips didn't loosen at first, but faint smiles and eventually some laughs came. Eventually even a bold request to personally mark the very spot most significant for my boy.

Trauma was not the final word. I don't understand the depths of God's mercy, and I know we do not deserve it! But His mercy covered us, delivered us, not only 6 years ago but also this return visit. 

This place is marked in our hearts and minds forever. There are still scars, but they tell a story of mercy and healing and victory!

 

Hospitality

“That house was...'a perfect house, whether you liked food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all.' Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear, and sadness.”

Some recent challenges from friends who own and run a local café, combined with some other things, have had me thinking about hospitality a lot lately. 
It started with their challenge to post about someone with whom we had experienced incredible hospitality.  And I realized I had such a flood of names and faces that came to mind. 
I grew up surrounded by extended family, blessed to be part of a small community that cared for each other, was welcomed into the homes of many friends throughout my childhood and early adulthood, have been part of church families that felt truly like families, enjoyed sharing life with wonderful colleagues, and have lived in cultures beyond my own that have embraced me and my family and that model true hospitality.

One of the people who has been on my mind a lot lately is my great-grandmother.  She had a gift and she used it faithfully to bless anyone around her with loving presence.  I think of the quote about Elrond's house.  Her home and her presence refreshed body and soul.  She was a great cook, but more than that, everything she touched just tasted wonderful, even Wonder bread and bologna sandwiches.  Hospitality has usually been linked closely in my mind to food.  There is something about breaking bread with someone, about someone sharing of their sustenance and their time and their culture to offer something to feed the person that has been welcomed into the home.  My great-grandmother always kept a batch of these cookies in her freezer, along with other treats, so there was always something to pull out when a visitor stopped by.  The cookies were tasty, but I think it was also about the fact that she had prepared herself for your visit before you even considered it yourself.  She made her food and offered it with love, gracefully refreshing the person in front of her.

In her later years, when she or great-grandpa needed various nurses to come in to check on or work with them, all of them consistently commented on the time they spent praying for people and the peace in their home.  She cared deeply for people, and she poured out herself in time and effort and presence to bless those with the gifts she'd been given.

As I've thought again recently many times over the topic of hospitality, I have felt a loss in the current times.  I miss having people in my home.  I miss preparing food to treat those who enter.  I have struggled to know how to bless those around me in this time, and I still don't have a lot of clarity on that.  But I know that, in any season, I hope to have some small glimpse of Elrond or my great-grandma in their presence and grace to BE that kind of place that blesses and refreshes weary souls, that is grounded in the Presence and a humble enough vessel to offer some small glimpse to dear ones of Home.  As I prepared a batch of these cookies that make me feel so nostalgic, I once again prayed for those who I hoped to extend these simple offerings to.  I don't doubt that the cookies themselves are a very small thing indeed, but I hope they speak even some small whisper of Home and of being loved and welcomed into a much bigger and greater Presence than mine!  I have been incredibly blessed in my life, not just with resources and models for hopefully cooking well, but with love and grace, and whether I can have people in my home right now or not, I pray for those to be poured out on the precious lives around me.

2019 in Reading

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted anything!
I have a whole pile of "drafts" that I never finished or at least never posted.
But, rather than go back and edit/finish/decide on sharing those, I'm just going to roll forward a bit.
There are heaps of wonderful sites reviewing and sharing book recommendations and insights on literature.  I don't have much unique to add to that realm, but I just figured I would use this space to share some of what I've especially enjoyed in the bookish realm.

Getting back to a reading habit in the past several years has been an absolute delight!  I actually realized how much it has come to me when I had a rougher year with it this last year (especially the latter half) than many recent years.  But, I still was able to read some great books and feel thankful that I think I have sorted out a few things to get some good reading habits back on track.

Some favorites for me (and if you see middle grade fantasy overrepresented in the list, draw your own conclusions/judgments; some haven't even been read by/with my kids!):

The Door Before by N. D. Wilson

I love Wilson's storytelling!  I also finished The Last of the Lost Boys early on in the year, and while I liked it, that Outlaws of Time series is my least favorite of his (time travel tweaks with me).  But, The Door Before tied together 100 Cupboards and Ashtown Burials and was brilliant!  I loved it!  (Ashtown Burials was my favorite series, by the way, but I do recommend starting with 100 Cupboards, and it is also great!)
Boys of Blur was technically my first completed read of this year, but it was also thrilling!  I could not put it down!

    

The Princess & the Goblin and The Princess & Curdie by George MacDonald

This was the first I had ever read from MacDonald.  I read these aloud to my boys, and we all really enjoyed them.  They are a little odd but delightful.

     

The Wilderking Trilogy by Jonathan Rogers

The first of this series was a reread for me, but then the other two were ones my son had gone on to tear through in his earlier independent days as a voracious reader, so I only had read bits and pieces.  This is a fantastic series!  We had a book club for the first one, which was a heap of fun!  I forgot how funny these are!  And, wonderfully insightful without being preachy.  The stories are engaging and adventurous.  We had so much fun reading these.  My son still often runs around the house shirtless claiming to be a bare-chested feechie!  Read them yourself and find out! ;)



      

Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien

This was my first time reading these.  I had read The Hobbit with the boys a couple of times before, but I had been waiting for my older son (11) to be ready to read these, thinking we would read them at the same time and share about them.  Well, he flew past me, started rereading them and nearly finished them a second time before I finished once!  And, he was constantly bursting to talk about them.  The books are obviously wonderful, but my favorite part was the conversations with my son and his intense enthusiasm for these stories and Tokien's genius.  The one request he had for homeschool this year was to learn Elvish, so yeah, we're in deep.
I have to admit that this is one series that I almost felt nervous reading because it seemed like a series I would/should love to the point that, if I didn't, I was afraid of a potential identity crisis!  Only mildly joking.  Thankfully, I did love them.  I got a little bogged down in the Dead Marshes, but I just absolutely loved so much in these.  It's hard to deny Tokien's genius, and it was a privilege to live in Middle Earth for some time.

         

His LOTR obsessions meets with his Great British Bake-off love
Stöllen crafted as Galadriel's ring, complete with elanor flowers and mallorn leaves

My son every day lately!

Son's gingerbread house

The Narnia series

We're actually still finishing up the series, and it's a reread, but it just doesn't get old!  These are so, so good.  We had a book club for The Voyage of the Dawn Treader this year, and my younger one was quite young for our last read, so it has been great fun revisiting Narnia.

Please read them in publication order and NOT the order you'll find printed on most sets!  You MUST enter Narnia through the wardrobe, in my opinion!

Beauty in the Word by Stratford Caldecott

One of the areas I did not read nearly as much as I had hoped was educational philosophy or just other nonfiction even as well.  But two that I did read I really enjoyed!  This one was in a stretch when my reading was just very choppy and interrupted in terms of time, so I felt like I wasn't getting the best out of it, but as I've been going back and adding the things I highlighted to my "commonplace notebook," I've been enjoying thinking over those insights again.

Know and Tell by Karen Glass

This is the other nonfiction/education book I really enjoyed.  Honestly, I'm not even finished with it yet because I wanted to dive into using it and let the things connect into my mind and practice more before finishing off the practical stuff for the later years/stages.  I had been sort of doing narration for awhile, but this book really helped to solidify by understanding of it, the value and richness in it (which lends insight into the learning process, in general), and some very practical bits of how to implement it well.  Though narration had seemed that it should be simple, I found this book was just what I needed to really connect to it and use it.  

The Iliad by Homer

Wow, I can't say this was a favorite, but I definitely feel pleased to have completed it.  I want to like Homer.  I'm not sure I'm there yet.  Maybe it's the pacifist upbringing that struggled to drag myself through the series of who killed who and spilled their guts all over in gory displays.  There are parts I can genuinely say I found really poetic and interesting and even insightful.  But, it was a bit of a discipline overall.  What I do love, though is the class I'm trying to go through related to it and others of The Great Books---Old Western Culture from Roman Roads.  I met Daniel Foucachon (founder and CEO of Roman Roads) at a homeschool conference, and the enthusiasm he and his wife have for what they do was so contagious!  I think they are a great company putting out high quality educational materials and resources!  And, Wes Callihan is so great teaching on the great books!  I want to love Homer because they (and others I respect) love Homer.  Maybe I'll get there. ;) I'm plugging away through The Odyssey now and, hopefully, I will have completed the first unit of Greeks:  The Epics by spring.  It is one of FOUR units that are supposed to make up a year of study for high school, and it's only taken me a year and a half.  Ha.  I do have to say that, as I was watching one of the videos for the class, I thought, Is it really realistic to think of a high school student reading these and going through this?  My son had slipped in next to me and was watching the video and started making comments and asking questions and was, at 11 years old, already intrigued and able to engage in the conversation, and it just made me thankful for the education he is getting that I wish I had.  I bought these with a mix of motivation to both preview as a possibility to use for the boys for high school but also to continue with and fill in gaps for my own education.

Bookish Things

Beyond the books themselves, there are some delightful bookish things that are either highlights from last year or that I at least haven't shared before.
I am a fan of The Literary Life podcast.  I don't and up listening to every episode (I have a hard time keeping up with any podcasts!), but I thoroughly enjoy their recommendations and insights!

They just recently did an episode on their year in reading, and I thoroughly enjoyed that one!
https://www.theliterary.life/031/

Angelina Stanford is one of the people who does the podcast, and I have been blown away listening to her talk about and teach about literature!  These are old episodes of podcasts, but I believe my introduction to her was an episode of Pam Barnhill's podcast on which she spoke about fairy tales, and then she also later did an episode on the same podcast about myths.  Both are wonderful!  I have listened to both more than once, and I frequently recommend these two episodes to parents especially.
https://pambarnhill.com/ymb41/ Why Fairy Tales Are Not Optional
https://pambarnhill.com/ymb60/ The Truth about Myth

Angelina also did a web class on Dickens's A Christmas Carol that was thoroughly delightful! I'll share more about it in a post about favorite Christmas/Advent resources.

I am not great at making things look beautiful. I don't have a gift for aesthetics, and I've struggled to value it, at times, even though I've come to believe very much in the value of it in recent years. One very small thing that has helped me add just a touch of beauty is Jennifer Trafton's reading log. Somehow it has been a good access point for me because I think my brain feels like it's organizing and tracking something and somehow feeling productive or a sense of seeing what is completed. I'm not the best at picking color schemes or doing artistic things with it, but that is one of the things I love about it--it's simple enough to easily access with not a heap of investment of time (or money) but also could be extended to look even more lovely. Also in her Etsy shop, she has some absolutely lovely art prints of book quotes or scenes, including one that she did for us on a quote from The Wingfeather Saga, which is a very beloved series in our family, as well as some fun coloring pages with book quotes. I think her art is whimsical and insightful. (She's also a great author and creative writing teacher, by the way!)

The last one I'll share for now was a bit of a random and fun find on Etsy, and that is the shop SaltyandLit. She has such fun natural soy scented candles with bookish themes! We could not resist The Shire candle! She has a whole bunch for Middle Earth and Narnia and other ones that look great as well!

There are heaps more wonderful books and bookish things, but those are just a few highlights. I would love to hear from other friends on favorites or highlights from your reading and bookish life from recent seasons!

New Year

There have been floods and floods of articles and posts about the new year--about how or if to make resolutions or choose a word or which resolutions or goals you should make or how to stick with them, and on and on and on.

I, for one, have rarely been so eager for a fresh new year.  I have no sagely advice and feel largely inadequate to fully reflect this past year for myself.  I can't even think of a word that feels like it fits to describe it.  Between the earthquake in April and now the shortages due to the political situation here in Nepal, it's been a lot to process and rather overwhelming.  Unfortunately, we are still in the peak of the crisis from the blockade and political standoff.  So, the roll-over of the calendar doesn't automatically hit the rest button for life, but thankfully, it has been an opportunity for me to at least take a few moments of quiet to sit with it all.

I have found it difficult to reflect on the past year with much clarity in many areas.  So much of it feels like a blur...and one that is still swirling.  I know there are incredible things that I have learned and beautiful moments and heaps of grace in the midst of the hard.  I just feel a bit inadequate to put words to much of it still.

One thing that I have felt as I've sat, looking back at the year, is a fresh grief.  There has been much grieving, and our personal difficulties have been so much less than so many around us, which is a different kind of grieving.  But, this wasn't directly about the events themselves but the loss of moments.  In the overwhelming demand of the immediate and basics of the days here, moments were lost in the blur.  Rhythms went out the window.  Goals and dreams and vision were stunted and often set aside in the mix.  I can't even fully describe this fresh sense of loss as I realize that there are things that I missed--that I don't even really know what they are--as the needs of life in these recent seasons took over thought and energy and time.  

As we move into a new year, I am a mixer of goals and resolutions and choosing a word (well, let's be honest, I am incapable of only choosing ONE word at any time in life!).  My prayers for myself are for continued and fresh grace and that God will help me to grow in being PRESENT even if I am weary or the world is swirling around me.  I pray that He will help me to be FAITHFUL in the SMALL, in the daily, in the mundane even; may I release my need to be "great" or do "great" things and instead be focused on being small, on choosing JOY, on LOVING well, on truly learning to LISTEN (an area in which I have realized I have a great deal of growing to do!).

So, those are my "words" for this new year:

faithful

small

present

joy

love

LISTEN

Here I Raise My Ebeneezer

As the taxi pulled to a stop, I could feel my throat tighten.  I stepped out of the taxi, and the lump grew larger, and my eyes instantly welled up with tears.
This place.  Here.

I don't feel afraid, but the intensity of it--of the last time I was here, in this place--it feels like I can't quite catch my breath as I approach.
This place.  Here.

The last time I was here was Saturday, April 25.  I won't ever forget that date.  As we stood with visiting friends, the earth around us shook, and we watched as the structure on which my son had been standing when the shaking started, collapsed in a heap of rubble only seconds later.  The air filled with dust so thick we couldn't see anything.  Couldn't see my other boy, my baby.  The earth still shaking and me grasping for my boys.  Utterly helpless, I heard our friend shouting, "I have him!  I have Ezekiel!"
Here.  In this place.

Parenting has broken down many layers of my illusions of control, but never have I experienced anything that shattered that illusion so completely and so quickly.  As much as I may sometimes (sadly, still) believe or act as if I, on my own, can protect my boys or take care of my family, as if I am enough to meet their needs, in that moment, there was nothing I could do.  I could not protect.  I could not save.  I could not even SEE.
Here in this place.

And, yet, they--WE, ALL of our family--were protected.  We were saved.  We were SEEN.
Here in this place.

So, what can I do but come back?  To worship.  To give thanks beyond what any words can express.  To praise the One who saw us and protected us and saved us.

This place.  Here.  It is a reminder to me of a goodness and a grace we in NO WAY deserve.  It is a reminder of mercies far beyond my understanding.  I may not place a physical stone there, but HERE.  Here I "raise my Ebeneezer"--my help stone.  "Thus far has the Lord helped us."

Here is my place of remembering. To tell my children, Here in this place.  We have seen God's radical protection and mercy on our lives.

So, here I stand.  In this place.  I take in the true miracle of it as I see it clearly.  The tears flow, but the tightening fades away.  I worship Our Protector, Our Savior, The One Who Sees Us, and I give Him thanks.  And I remember.  In my heart and my mind I will always remember this place. 

Here I raise my Ebeneezer.

To Serve My Son in Love

Last night my son woke up crying because his ear hurt badly.  He's been sick for about a week now with cough and cold and flu-like symptoms off and on. 

It consumed a good deal of my evening, and it was difficult to soothe him.  I couldn't help feeling a bit frustrated about the situation, especially knowing that today had been announced as a "banda" (general strike when no transportation other than emergency vehicles is allowed to run), so I knew we wouldn't be able to take him anywhere if he needed to be seen.

But, that frustration quickly melted away, and I ended up thanking God for these moments, holding my boy and having the privilege to care for him.  At first I had wanted to just get it "fixed" and put him back in his bed and move on with my evening, but I ending up soaking in the moment with a deep sense of gratitude.  I'm not commenting on any parenting philosophy of setting boundaries or not or anything of that nature, just that in that particular moment, I was able to be fully there and able to see God there with me.

There was a time that my kids getting sick triggered some really dark places in me.  Each time that they get sick now, and I realize that the old fear and panic isn't there any longer, I am so thankful for the freedom.  Even when we ended up in the emergency room last week for a fairly simple issue because there was some form of medical strike keeping the regular clinic open--and that ER is a hard place--I could walk in peace.  The last time we had been in that room, I felt like it was closing in on me from the chaos around me and the fear rising inside.  But, this time, I could see.  Really see.  So many hurting and needing, and I could see beyond me.  So I am thankful to hold my sick boy in those moments at night.  Because I was free and at peace and could just love without fear.

And, as I laid next to him, I was overwhelmed with things I had read earlier in the evening and shaken from the temptation to just "move on" with my evening.  My friend is spending this week with her little boy at a hospital far from home for tests and procedures and a whole week of hard and watching her little guy face so much but holding on to hope and the beauty of the little guy God created as her son.

A friend of a friend has recently seen her son...the same age as my older boy...pass on from this life after a long, hard battle with cancer.  My friend had posted just yesterday what she had written about the intense, consuming battle it was for them all.  She wrote, "It was an incredible honor to serve my son in love."

And of the feelings of his passing, she wrote, "When I became a mama to my one and only son...the significance of what happened on the cross deepened for me. Mary was there. She saw her son suffer. Maybe like me she begged Jesus to let go. To end his pain. Maybe like me Mary felt her heart rip in two when her son took his last breath. One half full of peace that he was free of pain and suffering. The other half bleeding with unbearable grief at her loss."

I think of my cousin who had to watch two of her little triplet babies die and what she wouldn't give to hold them for any reason.  I know she walked through so much just to hold her miracle boy and then later his sister.

I cannot truly even fathom the depth of pain and the sacrifice so many walk through with their children.  Even thinking or reading it now brings me to tears.  Friends and family and those I don't even know have walked bravely and humbly and gracefully through true sorrow and sacrifice.

And, I think how often I fail to recognize the incredible gift that is right in front of me...the opportunity to serve my boys in love.  

So, as I lay there with my generally healthy son for my one slightly "disrupted" evening, I felt such an overwhelming sense of gratitude.  I have to admit that cleaning up vomit or being woken up through the night or washing sheets in the middle of the night or fighting boys to take medicine or any of those common mothering things are rarely viewed in my heart and mind as a privilege, but truly, tonight I can say that I am so thankful for the chance, these small moments, to serve my son in love.  May my eyes see every day that gift and may my heart remember with joy these moments.

Confessions of a Fashion Failure

Fashion sense has always eluded me.
I've gone through seasons where I make more effort than others, but always it eludes me.

I very distinctly remember a school picture in, I believe, 5th grade (clearly old enough to know better) for which I put together my very "best" ensemble, which consisted of my "nice" sweat pants and a "fancy" t-shirt that had some portion of the design that was the same color as the main color of my sweat pants.  Oh, and a headband, though I am not 100% sure if the color of it matched anything.

I hit a phase in middle school where I felt odd in just about every way and sought to remedy at least some of those areas.  I tried really hard to be girly and do my hair like the other girls and wear at least a few of the clothes that seemed popular.  I got a few items of B.U.M. Equipment and Umbro (yes, I'm also old).  I could never pull off Hypercolor because I was also a very sweaty girl!  At several points in that, though, I can remember thinking, take away that labels, and I just have a striped t-shirt and slick shorts--this is dumb!  Thankfully, that phase didn't last long, and I abandoned the labels.

Most of high school was spent in flannel shirts and jeans (though that was actually a bit popular at the time...at least I think it was!).

I actually hit a phase in college and soon after in which I had some style.  Mind you, it was never what was "in style," and I can't say that it even "worked," but it was some sort of style.  One of the problems, though, in addition to my utter lack of fashion sense, is that I've always been very frugal (ahem, cheap) and pragmatic.  Especially once I started teaching and then became a mom, things that weren't comfortable or didn't last just didn't make the cut.  Thus, slipping back into my hopeless lack of fashion.

I actually had students in the inner city offer to buy me new shoes because they pitied mine!

And, at another job, I actually had a co-worker say to me once, "I was watching an episode of 'What Not to Wear' last night, and it made me think of you."

Mix my fashion failures with my frugality, introversion, and indecisiveness, and shopping is just downright horrifying most of the time.

I have, in recent seasons, become more aware of the many, many injustices in the fashion industry and what actually is involved in producing a lot of the clothes we wear.  Being fully aware of my failings at being fashionable, I think it most likely seems easy for me to say that clothes-buying habits need to change.  I don't buy many, and looking stylish is not a priority to me.  So, it might come across as very preachy to point out the flaws with most American fashion consumption habits.  Truly, though, friends, I have failed as a consumer as well.  Do you remember me mentioning being cheap?  I have a hard time paying more when I know there is a cheaper option.  And, given that I hate shopping, I often go for the easiest option available, and adding more factors to complicate something that already thoroughly overwhelm me is daunting, to say the least.

However, the point isn't to prove that it's hard for me to make different choices, too.  Whether something is hard or not is not the measure of whether it's worth doing.  I don't need to make different choices about the clothes I purchase because it is easy or in order to make it into some sort of noble sacrifices because it is hard.  Good choices are good choices, regardless of the cost.

So, yes, I--the total fashion failure--is encouraging, URGING, others to think about the choices they are making for what they buy and wear.
The good news is you don't have to look like me!  Go ahead, you can breathe a sigh of relief.  I know my reality.
I have friends who are artistic and creative and have a true gift for putting things together in ways that are stylish and beautiful who are leading the way in not only making better choices but CREATING better options and working within the industry to bring justice and dignity to those producing the fashion that people wear.  Look to them, not to me.  They get it--fashion sense with a heart for justice and plan for sustainability!

I've done a bit of reading and been encouraged by these friends.  There are tons of people who write on this much more eloquently than I do and have done far more research.  Check out some links below, but on a very basic level, how do you even go about making better choices?
Well, being informed is a good start.
Buying less and knowing where your clothing comes from are huge!
Being willing to spend a bit more (welp!) on things that are produced fairly and with sustainability in mind is important.  (Probably naturally leads back to also buying less.)

So, first some links to some friends who are doing great work:
Purnaa
My friends at purnaa are super inspiring!  They do great work, both in a fashion sense and in the realm of social justice!  They are primarily wholesale, but you can group together with friends and place an order that meets the minimum ($500) and order when one of their catalogs is out.  And, if you know of boutiques or designers or other potential buyers/contracts, give them a referral!

Trade for Freedom
Their main products are jewelry, but they also have a few accessories like handbags or scarves, at times, and they work in partnership with another fantastic group we know and love here called Beauty for Ashes.

Then, some links for resources to help in decision-making:
Fashion Revolution
I just discovered this group last night, actually, after my friends at Purnaa posted about an upcoming Fashion Revolution Day.  It's April 24, so what a great opportunity coming up to connect to a new way of choosing fashion!  The link above is their "education" section.  They have even have resource packs designed for kids!  There is also a quiz to help you discover what you know about the industry and learn more about it.

Free2Work
This is a GREAT resource for not only the fashion industry but for other industries as well, as they have done thorough reports, evaluating multiple criteria for various companies and reports about trends in trouble industries (toy, chocolate, coffee, clothing, tech, etc.).

And, just a couple other articles to help gather information and plan:
5 Tips for Keeping a Sweatshop-Free Closet
5 Truths the Fashion Industry Doesn't Want You to Know
The Incredibly High Human Cost of Fast Fashion
Sweatship: Deadly Fashion  (This was linked in the post above but is the direct link to the documentary mini-series.)

Maybe this April 24 (Fashion Revolution) can be a start of something new for you?  It probably won't improve my fashion sense, but I know it is changing what's involved in my choices.  My hope is that change will come, not only to the fashion industry, but also to cultures and individual hearts to be more concerned with what our choices cost someone else than what they cost us!